It’s bad enough that YouTube thinks it knows what I want to watch, recent suggestions being 6 minutes of Tom Cruise’s teeth; Tyra Banks passing judgment on gay-for-pay porn stars; a Mexican short gay movie without any dialogue (or much point); Quentin Crisp explaining that the term ‘movie star’ used to apply soley to women (and Valentino) and the trailer for Channing Tatum movie, Dear John.

YouTube doesn’t know me at all! Although one out of five ain’t bad, I suppose…

Now my phone is telling me to go and watch A Single Man! Yes really – I opened a text message the other day from my phone company to find Colin Firth’s bespectacled face staring back at me in a Tom Ford-esque fashion pose and a suggestion that I go see him in the film.

I have every intention of seeing this gay movie (whoops, I mean ‘movie’), but if I do, now it looks like I’m doing it just because my phone told me to and I’d be handing it the power.

What’s next: my refrigerator trying to set me up on dates?